Wisdom: It’s a choice

“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Proverbs 2: 1-5 NIV

“Then you will understand what is right and just and fair –every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you. Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways. Who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, and whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.” Proverbs 2: 9-15 NIV

Years ago, I badly wanted to go into business. I was obsessed with ears and wrist accessories by then and it was the current rage so I thought that since I’m creative (Everybody says so, and I’d let it go to my head, shame on me!) I went with my friend to buy raw stuffs like beads, strings and locks. You won’t believe how much those things cost! My cash was down to half after hours of risking blisters on our feet just to find the materials we needed. So, there we were, pretty cocky that we got good prices and now have our “business” materials, only we forgot one essential thing. We had no business plan.

I was reminded of this “leap-before-you-think” attitude when I started re-reading the book of Proverbs. It opened with a father giving words of wisdom to his son and then reverted into a personification of wisdom as a woman on the streets calling out to people to hear what she had to say and no one bothered to. Sadly, it immediately reminded me how our generation today reacts like that. We couldn’t be bothered. We’re so intent on doing “our” thing—the Dream—that we forget to stop and listen to Wisdom. Not just anybody’s wisdom, but God’s.

Then by Chapter 2, it was once again the father speaking and he was now listing down the benefits of wisdom if only the son will accept it. Would he? The father was not sure. There was that conspicuous word “if.” Nonetheless, he went out to list down all the benefits of wisdom if the son would choose to have it.

Wisdom from Parents

If you would pause for a moment, you’ll see that the father had a wide range of definition for the word “wisdom.” The first one is “his words and his commands.” Yes, they come as one.  In our generation’s vernacular, we might call them our parent’s “say-so.”

Unfair! Unfair! Unfair! I hear you saying. Well, it might seem that way, doesn’t it? We are independent human beings who have and know our own minds. We have our own destiny separate from our parents, no matter how great or not so great they are. I understand that. But—here’s the big but (no pun intended)—doesn’t Paul, as inspired by the Holy Spirit, also say in Romans 13:1, “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” (Romans 13:1, NIV) Simply put, he’s telling us that our authorities in general, our parents specifically, came from God and we have to submit to them because they are the reflection of God’s authority in our lives. No “ifs.” It was, and is, a direct command.

Why should we? Because as Job aptly puts it, “Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?” (Job 12:12, NIV)

Besides, we are the ones affected when we do not submit to their authority. In Paul’s letter to the Romans, he continuous in verse 2, “Consequently, whoever rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgement on themselves.” Scary stuff, huh. And then in verse 5, “Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.” (Romans 13, NIV)

It seems hackneyed to say this, but the “mother [and father] knows best” really rings a truth that we often ignore because we despise guidance. You might be itching right now to deny these things. That’s okay, I usually deny that fact myself. Though once in a while, when God kick me into attention like right now, I allow myself to face it. I don’t like following orders or advice, especially from my parents who just fight and fight and doesn’t understand a thing I’m feeling. Or so I thought.

When my friend and I began our “escapade” in building our little business, my mother was very supportive. But she had qualms about one thing, will we be able to sustain it? My friend was still in college and I was a fresh graduate and looking for work everywhere. Where would we find the time, she often asked me. But because I was cocky and over-confident of my capabilities, I brushed aside her concerns and began making accessories. Honestly, I was very irritated with my mom because her asking that felt like she was putting me down.

Well, reality soon cured me of that. A few weeks after my first batch of accessories, I finally got a job, went to live in the metro for 5 days a week, and was so stressed that I soon forgot all about my “business,” much less sell them online like we’ve planned. Our thousand bucks-worth went to the storage, to be used when I had enough time. I never did. They’re now celebrating their third-year anniversary in our storage closet.

So much for a business plan.

So you see where King Solomon comes from in that “if you accept my words and store up my commands within you”? Even when we don’t see the rationale behind it, our parents do know what they’re saying when they try to give us advice. They may not say it fluently, they might even bully us into it, but that doesn’t eliminate the fact that what they’re saying is indeed wisdom.

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3 NIV

That does say it all, doesn’t it?

Just to be safe, if it will be written in reverse, the verses above will probably read like this: “Children, if you do not obey your parents in the Lord, you are not doing the right thing. “If you do not honor your mother and father”—honoring them being the first commandment with a promise—“it will not go well with you and you will not enjoy a long life on earth.”

Sounds a lot like what Paul was saying right? Downright scary. But it’s true. Look what happened to our doomed “business.”

Even when it’s hard to swallow, more often than not, there’s a deep-bone truth in what our parents tell us to do. Let’s heed their words.

Listening and Understanding

Right after saying that the son should follow his father’s words and commands, King Solomon then mentions “turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and IF you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding…” (emphasis added). It’s what we’ve already been talking about really. We need to listen and understand. They come hand in hand. One without the other is not wisdom.

We talked about our parents’ advice, now these advices won’t mean anything unless we listen to them and understand them. It would be like badgering our mom for days for ice cream and then after she buys us a gallon of the newest and reportedly the current best ice cream flavor, we let it melt on the table because we don’t know what flavor it was so we have no use for it. How would we know it won’t give us allergies, right? Better if they just gave us vanilla (which we love).

Pretty childish analogy, but it’s also accurate. You see, more often than not, when we ask for advice, we are really not asking for their advice as much as asking them to validate our thoughts. As I always tell my bestfriend when she’s asking for my opinion on certain things and had repeatedly vetoed my initial choices, “What do you really want me to say?”

But parents, being parents, won’t ask us that. They would give us the advice that we need, even if it’s not what we want. And we need to listen and understand. Listen with, not through, our ears and understand with our hearts. Why with our hearts? Because it won’t ask for logical explanations like our rational mind does. It will only accept and believe, which in terms of listening to advice, is what we really need.

Uh-uh. We’re getting sidetracked from the wisdom-discussion, you might be asking right now. And to answer your unvoiced question, no, we’re not.

As Proverbs 12:15 puts it, “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” (NIV) Then Proverbs 10:13 remarks, “Wisdom is found on the lips of him who has understanding, but a rod is for the back of him who is devoid of understanding.” (NKJV)

After hearing our parent’s “say-so”, we need to listen and understand them. That’s it. That’s wisdom.

Like Hidden Treasure

Of course, there will be times when advices from parents won’t be forthcoming. It’s either they do not know what to say, is used to saying nothing, or just plain don’t care. Sadly, due to the works of the enemy in many marriages, a lot of families break apart, and like it or not, the children are always the biggest casualties.

 It’s frustrating and depressing. Sometimes, it makes us wonder how we can ask advice from people who can’t even advice themselves and straighten their own lives. Where’s their wisdom, right? It’s a sad reality. Then again, we still shouldn’t worry, because God has already taken care of this. If our parents can’t give us advice, King Solomon urges us to, “look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure.”

Yeah. Hidden Treasure. Like one of those games we used to play when we were younger, with siblings and cousins and friends before PSP, PSP2, computer, IOS and Android games gave a new meaning to the capital punishment, “Go to your room!”

Anyway, we need to seek advice. From whom? There are many people who would qualify. Our older siblings, our pastor, our Bible Study leader, our Christian friends—people who love God above all else and who’s older and wiser than us. This is critical, my friends. When we ask for advice aside from our parents, we need to make sure that they are not only professing Christians or people who doesn’t have Jesus in their lives.

As 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’

And so go to these people whom you look up to. Even if they don’t understand your position, they would give you another perspective. They would give you sound advice.

Wisdom’s Benefits

After we’ve listened and understood the advice of our parents or the advice we sought from others, and lived by them, then and only then will we be able to:

     (1)    Understand the fear of the Lord – the beginning of wisdom (Prov. 1:7)

     (2)    Find the knowledge of God (Col. 1:10)

     (3)    Understand right from wrong and choose the “Good Path” (Prov. 3:5-6)

     (4)    Have the protection from the ways of the wicked (Isa. 54:17)

Aren’t those great promises for the price of acceptance and obedience? For yes, wisdom comes from both. And it only takes willingness on our part to give those things and have everything.

Many people pass this world not knowing what their purpose is, while others fight and fight and fight for the Dream and just end up failing because they do not know the right path to it or they were aiming for the wrong thing. Then there are those who fight for the Dream and get it, but end up unsatisfied. Aren’t we blessed that we have an option?

It’s called wisdom.

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