Naturally, the worst part is that you loved, was unable to express it, and yet you know that your love has been thrown back to your face--slightly used, with not even a 'thank you' for the use of it.
And thus is the fate of a heart too loving, too trusting, and too easy to deceived.
And then you cry. Not the crying with tears, but that choking cry of the heart--without tears, without outward expression, except for the lonely eyes, and blinding smile of one pretending to be okay.
But it's not okay. Not even a little. For your heart has been thoroughly used, and yet abandoned when someone much beautiful than you has come.
You can't even claim 'foul!' because you never had a hold, anyway. You've given freely. Bravely betting, unable to imagine that you'd lose everything. And yet you did. You did.
Once again, another piece of your heart gone. To a person who was unable to appreciate what they had. Too enamored of what they've found, quickly forgetting that it was you who've been there through the tough times.
No thank you, just goodbye.
With you trying to pretend that everything is fine. Just like before. And yet the silence and the lull says otherwise. It's all in the past now.
Slowly, very slowly, the gap widens. The silence lengthens. Jealousy coming in between, burning the bridge that you thought was higher than the rushing river.
You turn away and find something else to fill the gap. Your good-time lover rushes to the opposite side. Called over by the one whose heart was chosen, unable to keep the ties you've developed with time. Pressured to severe it, until nothing remains but your empty smile.
So smile. Smile. Smile. Until the heart is once again steady and plainly beating, satisfied with what it's doing. Moving on and forgetting the tiring drama of burning ties.
And then the good-time lover remembers as it suffers the same thing you did. Rushes to your side. Asking to be in the center again. You smile.
No. Thank you, but goodbye.
#RM
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