Love Me More

 Isn't this a surprise?

Last time we talked,

I said goodbye, I'll stop with this nonsense,

And you stood there looking through me,

Not saying anything.

Not caring about my leaving.

Now I see you in the news,

Telling people that you

Want to be able to love more.

Just a few weeks after you let me go.

After I told my friends

That I need to love less.

Aren't we a pair of fools?

Telling each other nothing,

And yet telling the world all that we need.

If I loved you less, would you have stopped me?

Would you have loved me more?

Or would you still look at me with vacant eyes?

I saw your message and ignored it.

I heard your voicemail and ignored it.

Isn't two months too long, too late

To stop me from leaving?

I already left. I said my tearful goodbyes,

And saw your eyes shift to the other side.

Is this your mournful voice I hear?

I made sure to miss your calls.

Stop calling me in the morning,

During lunch, and after my work.

My heart has turned black--at least for you.

There's no gift that can turn me back.

Stop giving these speeches.

I will not listen anymore.

My heartbreak avenue was done one block past this door.

You chose to go to her while letting me hang.

I do not care for half of your heart and lies.

Keep loving me more while I keep walking goodbye.

#RM 22.04.14

Changing Seasons

Did you think of me as the leaves fell

And sunlight dimmed as it fell through the clouds

Not bothering to brighten the darkened street

Where you turned around and left

Without goodbye, just a sad, unfaithful smile.

Did you think of me as snowflakes fell

And grew into monsters of white walls

Covering the bridge where you said you loved me

Above all else, and gave me an inherited ring

Telling me it’s a token of forever love, an answered dream.

Did you think of me as the frost turned to dew

And dissipated with the weak sunlight through the roof

As the garden turned green once again

And the seeds you planted finally broke free and grew.

Like the love you confessed with a summer song.

Did you even think of me as the sun rose

In that humid day where tears fell like sweat

As a miracle happened between two people.

A gift, you said, and warmly gave me a hot embrace

You laughed then, and we danced like mischief-makers.

Did you think of me during those last few steps

And the summers of long past, that I now regret.

Did you walk away with a heavy heart and thought

Of the promises you’ve made but never kept.

Or do you still call my name during the nights your shoulder is in pain?

R.M. 2021.06.27

I Will Forget You

I'll forget you.

Your scent, your smile,

That darling indentation beneath

Your laugh lines.

I will throw away all

The things that attracted me.

This is not right.

I could have done better

Than spend my days dreaming

Constantly about you.

I will remove your voice

From my memories.

Let the silence descent.

I would rather close my eyes,

And my heart, than remember you.

Your name will be banned

In my house, in my heart,

Until you become a stranger.

I'll burn your memories.

Until there's nothing left to remind me

Of the nights we spent together.

You have become like a curse,

That I need to exorcise from my life.

Go away.

I'll bury you.

This time, in the darkest corners.

Along with the times you loved me,

And soothed away the loneliness.

I will remember them no more.

Let the roots dry up and the tree die.

- RM. 2021.05.28

AT THE PINNACLE

Today, as I celebrate the day I was

Meant to be.

I closed my eyes and wished

To see your eyes shining,

Smiling shyly.

Your lips both happy and mysterious.

Will you celebrate with me?

Will you finally answer my call,

That you've long ignored.

Despite your long ago promises

That I will be your universe.

As I have made you mine.

Can you now take my hand,

And hold it tight?

When you're at your prime,

The pinnacle of your fame,

Your star shining brighter than ever

As you've wished long ago.

Will you now open my letters?

The one I wrote you ages ago,

After a bittersweet goodbye,

And repeated whispers of

"I will come back for sure."

Today, can you make time to answer

My longing calls and hidden sighs?

Or is your schedule still full

Overflowing to the point

That your next time has

Become a long goodbye?

Can you finally let me know

And not leave me hanging here

If you will still come back to me

Or should I surrender and

Consider my diverging roads

And choose the one without you?

Today, as I celebrate the day I was

Meant to be.

I have come to  a crossroad of pain

And maybe fading sorrow.

I will not wait for you anymore.

So answer me now,

Or forget me forevermore.

#RM

03.22.2021

A Frozen Heart

 Leaves were falling everywhere
When we first said 'hi' 'hello.'
I smiled. You stared.
Leaves kept falling;
The wind blew to and fro,
Un-minding.
And we didn't care.

Rain was falling from heavy clouds
That night you said 'I love you.'
I couldn't answer;
Do I love you?
You said you will wait
As you pulled me
Under your umbrella.

We Never Said

We never said the famed three words,

But we felt it flooding both our hearts.

It kept pushing our lives together,

Though so we’re so far apart—

In thinking, in feeling, and in priorities.

It made us think of what-maybes

And dwell on the things

That will never be.

Months went by, we’re still together;

Silent, but for the occasional whispers—

Not of love, but of things which meant nothing

But made us talk until September.

And so the silent passion grew.

The arguments continued and pursued,

Pointless and endless

But valued true.