Gracious, What Now?

I happen to love you still
Even when you often leave
Without saying goodbye
Without telling me why
Without showing me the slightest
Care by saying you'll be back.


You leave, then you comeback,
I feel on a seesaw everytime.
I cry, I get angry, but in the end
I wait for you by the door
Or I look by the window
Checking the streets.




I can't even say you're cruel.
You have always been like this,
I said I'll be okay, I'll cope
Eventually stop checking
Where you are at that time
Or who you were with.


But gracious me, I lied!
How can I not be uneasy with this?
You sing and dance for a living
All I care is you not leaving
Me, here's the truth, take it or
Leave it. Like you do to me.


You disappear for a time,
And then comeback with a smile.
Sometimes I want to say,
"How dare you treat me this way!
I have a life I need to live, too."
But I never do, 'cause I love you.


I can't say I love only you,
I love myself, too. That's why
I go out with friends, eat out and pretend
That my heart is not broken
Everytime you are away.
Oh goodness gracious, why so emo?


Thank you, you say everytime.
Because you know I wait silently
Everytime you go away.
I listen to your songs just to hear
Your voice, hoping it's me you
Sing for in your heart. Am I?


In between schedules and applause,
Do you even think of me
Waiting here, alone and lonely
For you to comeback and remind me
Why I loved you,
And that you love me?


You tell me not to cry for
My tears are precious as starlight.
You say you'll protect me and
That's why we suffer this apart.
I tried not to think, but
Am I not the only one suffering?


You have your life, you shine.
I remain here, continents apart
Looking after you in my heart,
Living day to day with an empty smile
Waiting for your rare calls,
Or even your rarer video calls.


My love, I can't live this way
No more. Return now and embrace me
Help me remember that this is
Only temporary. That you didn't
Say goodbye, because it never was.
I'm afraid I might just give us up.


#WFYSeries
#RM