I Only See You

On the eve of your day,

I look through all my saved memories

And find your face in the midst of many

So many people that I know,

And those I don’t.

And yet I only see you.

It’s your eyes, your lips,

Your nose, and the voice

That I can hear even 

When you’re not speaking.

Is this the web you weaved

On my mind, on my heart?

I closed my eyes and 

Tried to dispel your magic.

I looked to the right

Found little sparkles on the left

And troubled shiny things

On the right, amongst many.

And yet I only see you.

Color your hair light,

Color your hair brighter,

Color your hair your color,

In the end, it is you.

And what’s beneath that I see.

That one thing you promised to me.

But where are you now?

Away, far away, going even farther.

The promise you made last December

Was as fleeting as your smiles

Today, yesterday, a week before.

Can you still see yourself in the mirror?

Are you lost now, my tree?

Are your roots hanging by the thread

Along the suddenly surging river

Overflowing stream, once dreaming

Now a frightening reality.

Still, I can only see you.

As you were when we held hands,

When we whispered silly jokes.

And tried to offend each other,
So we can make up afterwards.

And yet you seem lost now, my star.

Find your way back through my eyes.

#RM

03/28/2021

I Hope You Hurt

I have this fear in my heart

That no matter how much I wait,

You’re not going to come.

You’ll remain deaf and blind to my calls.

To my letters.

Maybe they remain unopened.

Unread.

Abandoned somewhere.

Like the way you abandoned me,

That day you said

We’ll meet again.

I must be a million and a half

FOOL.

The Sun and the Moon

I open my eyes and you're still there
Far away from my reach
Unable to hear the whispers
My heart continues to speak.

I reach out my hand to you
But this horizon never meets you
Suddenly, the darkness swallows
These careful gestures I make.

If I Could Live Another Life

If I could live another life after this,
I'd still choose you
You with your faults
You with your joys
You with your sadness
I'll still hold your hand
Even when you stand so far away.
I'll still walk towards you
Even if the journey is long,
Even if the journey is too long,
And the distance is too wide.
I'll still stretch my love,
And allow you your freedom

Tick-Tock of the Heart

To the Muse:
How are you my love?
Have you slept well?
Did you cry last night?
Remember that last goodbye--
When you said goodnight
And I turned around with a
Heavy heart.
Choking on the emotions
I was trying to deny.


To the Guardian:
How are you my love?
Have you slept well?
Did you smile last night?
Amidst the bright and neon lights;
The music, the rhythm,
The endless, tempting melody
Of the crowd, of the lovelies
As I remember those times
We spent alone,
Together.
Too short time together.

Longing

I see you,

I always hear you,

When I turn on the radio

Hear your music

See you on the little screen.

I can almost feel you.

But you’re not here.

Thousands of miles away

I wait for your call

Which never came

It’s okay. It’s okay.

I understand,

I’ll love you just the same.

Figment

The street was dark, shadows dancing to and fro,
Strong winds propelling me to walk faster.
Faster. The cold seeping into my bones.
Eager for the warmth of my own room.

Suddenly, a hand on my shoulder
Stopped me in my single-minded goal.
Startled, I choked on my scream and froze
For a second. Until you spoke.

"Where are you going on a rush?"
You asked while rubbing my cold hands.
Shaking, I answered:
"Home. It's too cold. I just want to go home."

I'm Not Ready

It was almost like what I imagined it will be.
That night you knocked on my door,
Said your "Are you there?" and knocked some more.
My heart beating fast--almost like a heart attack.


Slowly, oh so slowly, I walked to the door
Almost turned the lock to let you in
With the best expression of joy I had.
Midway, I stopped. I'm not ready yet.

To The Muse

To the muse who has broken the walls
Of the feckless and faceless love
That I have been showered with
Since the day I stepped into the ocean
Of admiration and screams and fainting spells
To the muse I offer this gift.

Confession of love from a man
Who could not touch your face or
Hold your hand in public; nor whisper
'I love you' as I should have done before.
My hours are filled, but not of you,
But in my heart I always have you.

When I step down from the plank and see
So many faces, running right and left,
Trying to commit to square history my face
They scream my name and I smile;
And then my heart breaks one more time
For I cannot be with you right now.