Wisdom: It’s a choice

“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Proverbs 2: 1-5 NIV

“Then you will understand what is right and just and fair –every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you. Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways. Who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, and whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.” Proverbs 2: 9-15 NIV

Years ago, I badly wanted to go into business. I was obsessed with ears and wrist accessories by then and it was the current rage so I thought that since I’m creative (Everybody says so, and I’d let it go to my head, shame on me!) I went with my friend to buy raw stuffs like beads, strings and locks. You won’t believe how much those things cost! My cash was down to half after hours of risking blisters on our feet just to find the materials we needed. So, there we were, pretty cocky that we got good prices and now have our “business” materials, only we forgot one essential thing. We had no business plan.

I was reminded of this “leap-before-you-think” attitude when I started re-reading the book of Proverbs. It opened with a father giving words of wisdom to his son and then reverted into a personification of wisdom as a woman on the streets calling out to people to hear what she had to say and no one bothered to. Sadly, it immediately reminded me how our generation today reacts like that. We couldn’t be bothered. We’re so intent on doing “our” thing—the Dream—that we forget to stop and listen to Wisdom. Not just anybody’s wisdom, but God’s.

Then by Chapter 2, it was once again the father speaking and he was now listing down the benefits of wisdom if only the son will accept it. Would he? The father was not sure. There was that conspicuous word “if.” Nonetheless, he went out to list down all the benefits of wisdom if the son would choose to have it.

You Conquered Me

The battle is raging, the horns are blaring

And I’m here, I’m here, I’m trembling.

I’m putting on armor, pretending I’ve valour

Drawing in strength I know I don’t possess

‘Cause I’m afraid, I’m afraid that they will see

That I’m not, I’m not who I pretend to be.

I’m no soldier, no fighter, no winner

And I am lost, I’m losing the battle before it begins.

I'll Get Back to the Poems

Three years wasted.

—It’s midnight.

Years that were spent following another’s heart, another’s dreams.

—And I’m still writing on my diary.

Forfeiting the hopes and wishes I’ve always held dear.

—Writing down the dreary memories.

That I may always be with the one,

—Making myself remember.

Who made my heart skip and forget.

—For the last time…the last time.

For after this, I’ll get back to the poems.

The sonnets and verses and lines,

A mirage of cold words that were put together

To make me warm.

They do not have the heart that you do

Nor the feelings or the touch or embrace.

But they are better than you

So I’ll get back to the poems

Than still love you.

We Never Said

We never said the famed three words,

But we felt it flooding both our hearts.

It kept pushing our lives together,

Though so we’re so far apart—

In thinking, in feeling, and in priorities.

It made us think of what-maybes

And dwell on the things

That will never be.

Months went by, we’re still together;

Silent, but for the occasional whispers—

Not of love, but of things which meant nothing

But made us talk until September.

And so the silent passion grew.

The arguments continued and pursued,

Pointless and endless

But valued true.

With Your Violin

(2nd edition; 092613)

In the midst of the crowd—

I heard your voice, high and piercing,

Anger bursting, bringing freedom

From deep within.

Strings crying; your bow pleading.

The notes swaying, flying—melting.

It bled right through me.

It made me hate you.

Oh, how I loved you.

You fascinated me.

Strangers walking, swimming, to and fro.

Moving forward, moving slow.

But you kept me there—

A prisoner.

Your music taunting me,

Keeping me,

Making me a part of you.

I didn’t want to be.