A Little Nip Here and There

It stung a great deal
When your words whipped
Around me
As you yelled
Of my
Incompetence
Inabilities
Imperfections
As if they were a disease.
And then you laughed.
You laughed!
You impeccable bastard.
Pulled me to your side
And embraced me
While filled with mirth
At my expense
Yet again.




A little nipping of my wings
Smallest possible dent
In my self-esteem
As you talked about
My fears
My irrationalities
My waverings
And made it seem
Like I’m a floaty
Bit of extreme
Unable to decide
About many things
Without you to anchor me.
You bastard.
You drew blood.
And then kissed my cheek
Laughter on your eyes
Mocking me
As if
I’m a child.

And now you stepped
On my dragging feet
Showing concern
When I stumbled
Almost lost my balance
Almost fell on my face
Almost hit my broken rib
Yet again.
And then you offered
Your hand.
As if offering help.
You disgusting peace of slime.
And in mocked grace,
Supported me up
As I walked in
Your deceptively charming embrace.
And you whispered
Soft threats
I’ve been living with
For years.

But I’ll escape
You’ll see.
A knife in my pocket.
A broken glass
Hanging above my chest.
A sliver of string
From the guitar you made
Me play
Again
And again
And again
While you broke my brushes
And burned my palettes
While telling me
In a grave voice
That I’ll never make it there
Anyway.
Better here,
Like this.
Me playing for you,
While they pay you to sing.
Partners forever.
I wish you choke.
To death.


Or not.
Not yet anyway.
Not yet.
You bastard.
I’ll make you pay.

#rmpsd