A New Chapter

 It's been a long time,

A struggled climb,

A long walk,

An arduous run,

Falling in, down, and up.

And now here we are,

A new chapter that we only

Prayed for,

Hoped for,

Dreamed about.

From the tears and failures

That paved the ragged bridge

Of this present tomorrow,

Here we are standing on the brink

Almost too lost to feel

The giddy feeling of finally,

Finally,

Finally.

With broken hearts and 

Fractured faith,

We step on,

Step.

Step.

Another step.

It felt like it would never come

To this.

Still another step,

As we cross the bridge.

From this moment on,

It's the beginning.

#rmpsd 22.8.21

Dad

 I hated the late nights for so many years, 

When you would knock loudly while coughing.

Even more when I smell the smoke.

I would often think,

Doesn't he care that folks are already sleeping

And his foul smell rouses asthma attacks?

How can he not care about this family?

Then you left so suddenly,

Without warning, and with great heartache.

How can you leave with only a

"I'll see you tonight. Take care of your siblings."

When you would come back with 

Bullets holes on your heart and your shoulders

Burned on my memories like tattoos

That can never be erased?

Nineteen summers of love-hate cycles,

Filled with forgotten laughters

And unending misunderstandings.

I never thought I would cry when midnight comes

And I turn on the kettle for your coffee,

Check if the door is unlocked so you don't have to wake me,

And you don't come.

I was foolish in my insensitivities.

Thought only of my inconveniences

When I never stopped to consider your burden,

Your lonely and tired back which carried

Your rugged bag everyday, without failure.

And came home to a sleeping house,

With a banshee for a door-opener.

Forgive this foolish girl.

As years passed by and I did the same

Commuting everyday, bone-tired from the endless

Ups and downs, standing ups and barely sitting downs,

My teardrops fell unbidden as I stared on the

Passing dark sceneries on the long way home.

I was tired, and all I was able to think was,

This is what you did everyday.

Belatedly, I uttered a "thank you" that I never got to say.

#RM.22.05.16

Love Me More

 Isn't this a surprise?

Last time we talked,

I said goodbye, I'll stop with this nonsense,

And you stood there looking through me,

Not saying anything.

Not caring about my leaving.

Now I see you in the news,

Telling people that you

Want to be able to love more.

Just a few weeks after you let me go.

After I told my friends

That I need to love less.

Aren't we a pair of fools?

Telling each other nothing,

And yet telling the world all that we need.

If I loved you less, would you have stopped me?

Would you have loved me more?

Or would you still look at me with vacant eyes?

I saw your message and ignored it.

I heard your voicemail and ignored it.

Isn't two months too long, too late

To stop me from leaving?

I already left. I said my tearful goodbyes,

And saw your eyes shift to the other side.

Is this your mournful voice I hear?

I made sure to miss your calls.

Stop calling me in the morning,

During lunch, and after my work.

My heart has turned black--at least for you.

There's no gift that can turn me back.

Stop giving these speeches.

I will not listen anymore.

My heartbreak avenue was done one block past this door.

You chose to go to her while letting me hang.

I do not care for half of your heart and lies.

Keep loving me more while I keep walking goodbye.

#RM 22.04.14

Let's Runaway

 I heard you've been crying

My condolences are late, 

For I have made it my resolution to forget you.

And yet here I am again.

How are you?

Are you in pain?

Something endless and tragic,

Like my life has been after you ruined me

And came back again and again.

Do you sleep?

I skipped a month of friendly chats

Just so I can remove you from my earshot.

If not my memories.

It's still a project in process.

Did I fail?

Why do you look so gaunt

As if you've lost all soul and control?

I offer condolences,

But whom did you lose this time?

Was it love?

Unlike what you've said we've had--

Just friendship, you said.

A special relationship with privileges.

Though they were mostly for you.

So what now?

Here I am again, opening my abused heart

And overly burdened hands.

But why would you care about that?

If I can offer you refuge in this quicksand.

Come away with me?

#RM 22.02.11