Love Me More

 Isn't this a surprise?

Last time we talked,

I said goodbye, I'll stop with this nonsense,

And you stood there looking through me,

Not saying anything.

Not caring about my leaving.

Now I see you in the news,

Telling people that you

Want to be able to love more.

Just a few weeks after you let me go.

After I told my friends

That I need to love less.

Aren't we a pair of fools?

Telling each other nothing,

And yet telling the world all that we need.

If I loved you less, would you have stopped me?

Would you have loved me more?

Or would you still look at me with vacant eyes?

I saw your message and ignored it.

I heard your voicemail and ignored it.

Isn't two months too long, too late

To stop me from leaving?

I already left. I said my tearful goodbyes,

And saw your eyes shift to the other side.

Is this your mournful voice I hear?

I made sure to miss your calls.

Stop calling me in the morning,

During lunch, and after my work.

My heart has turned black--at least for you.

There's no gift that can turn me back.

Stop giving these speeches.

I will not listen anymore.

My heartbreak avenue was done one block past this door.

You chose to go to her while letting me hang.

I do not care for half of your heart and lies.

Keep loving me more while I keep walking goodbye.

#RM 22.04.14

AT THE PINNACLE

Today, as I celebrate the day I was

Meant to be.

I closed my eyes and wished

To see your eyes shining,

Smiling shyly.

Your lips both happy and mysterious.

Will you celebrate with me?

Will you finally answer my call,

That you've long ignored.

Despite your long ago promises

That I will be your universe.

As I have made you mine.

Can you now take my hand,

And hold it tight?

When you're at your prime,

The pinnacle of your fame,

Your star shining brighter than ever

As you've wished long ago.

Will you now open my letters?

The one I wrote you ages ago,

After a bittersweet goodbye,

And repeated whispers of

"I will come back for sure."

Today, can you make time to answer

My longing calls and hidden sighs?

Or is your schedule still full

Overflowing to the point

That your next time has

Become a long goodbye?

Can you finally let me know

And not leave me hanging here

If you will still come back to me

Or should I surrender and

Consider my diverging roads

And choose the one without you?

Today, as I celebrate the day I was

Meant to be.

I have come to  a crossroad of pain

And maybe fading sorrow.

I will not wait for you anymore.

So answer me now,

Or forget me forevermore.

#RM

03.22.2021

Sometime Next Tomorrow

I saw your message last night.
I tried to call you back,
But it seems you're too busy,
According to your busy line.
It does not matter, anyhow.
I'll try again tomorrow
Maybe then, we can end
This long goodbye.

Your books are still here.
I placed them on a crate,
The one we bought when
We still wanted to adopt a pet.
Shame that we never got
Around to it.
Like with all the other plans
We had but abandoned
Down the hill.

Hannah said she saw you
Yesterday, by the cafe
Ordering your favorite drink
And mine--
While talking and laughing
With your new Partner
In crime? In love?
Oh, but you don't like
Love--what a laugh.
How are you?

I was really surprised to hear
Your voice fill my empty house
When I listened to your message.
It brought back memories
That I thought I've thrown away
Like your love letters and
Cheap crane gifts
Which once made my heart ache
With joy... Or so I thought.

Yes, I went out and had fun.
And did the cheesy things
You didn't want.
I felt I owed it to myself.
This happiness you dangled
In front of me, like a carrot
At the end of the fishing rod.
Always near, never achieveable.
You were always quite a bastard.


Jerry says hello.
My mom asked me if you're still alive
Or already in prison. Or dead.
Whichever, she doesn't have a preference.
You should really take home your game,
Or it will end up broken by the kid.
Your dirty clothes, too--
They're still here, rotting.
I can't make myself put them in the trash.
What if some homeless need them?
Take them and your books.

I'm changing my number after tomorrow.
I need a change of pace,
Away from your stifling shadow
And reckless violation of my space.
Remember the hundred meters
And don't attempt to integrate yourself
Anymore, in my life--in my house
In my crazy, warm family.
You're not part of it anymore.
Don't call me after tomorrow
After which, you can talk to my lawyer.

I have to go now.
I'll put all your things outside
The garage, near the broken piano
By the patio--the one you hammered down
When you thought I was flirting
With the gardener you hired
While I was in my dirt-encrusted overalls.
Enjoy your new conquest
And make sure you check your mail
Sometime today, or next tomorrow.
It ends here, or I will make you.

#RM

Goodbye

Good bye.
I wish I was able to whisper
These words to your ear.
Find your peace
Do not worry
About me
Or that world that's
A little poorer
Without your smiles,
Your laughter,
And the tears that sometimes
Fall from your eyes.
Good bye.
I'll keep you in my heart
And cherish the good times
And leave the hurts,
With the childish woes
Behind.
Let me remember
Your happiness and
Careless honesty
Which shaped me as I am
Today.
I am going to miss you.
But more than this,
I will continue
Loving you.
I love you.
Good bye.

#RM