You shine brightly dear
Like the southern constellations
Dotting and flowing through New Zealand's sky.
As I walk through these impossible valleys,
This is what circles in my mind:
You still shine brightly, dear.
This light gives strength to my flagging thighs,
Tired, beaten, and almost falling to the ground.
You light up my sky,
Even as the darkness closes around me,
Like hands on my neck on a starry night.
Like a million years inside a quicksand.
If I walk faster, if I run harder
Would I be free of this spell which
Bounds me to the nightmare I came from?
In bouts of hunger, I can feel your breath
On my skin, on my parched lips.
I close my eyes, and yet you're shining brightly still.
I cried, "Someone help me, please."
But no one was there to catch me--
Or even to pull me from the hole.
I can see your light, but now it seems so far.
Did you abandon me, too?
Have you gone deaf to my cries and tears?
A lone wolf calls from afar,
But it is still nearer than your dimming light.
Is it better that I stay here?
Stay and let the luring folds of despair
Hold me, trap me, choke me?
I close my eyes--at least here, you shine brightly still.
R.M. 2021.06.29