More Fool Me

You broke my heart
That morning you said
You won’t let anyone
Hurt me.
You didn’t understand
That it is you
Who’s poised to abandon
Me; and shatter my heart
With a simple goodbye
While you go your own
Way to marry another.
“You’re not a lady,”
You told me
When I gave you my all.
You promised me nothing
And yet I still gave you
My bruised soul.
And then you smiled.
Your one-sided smile
Which brought thrill
To my being.
And I touched your face,
Memorizing it.
Making sure I remember
The face—
The handsome face
Of my feckless warrior.
My guardian.
The keeper of my heart
Who wanted nothing of me
Except the kind of surrender
That others pay for.
I have no dignity.
I have no sanity left.
And in a few days,
You’ll also take my squandered
Soul to nothingness.
As you say “I do”
To another
And make me see
The life you will build together.
While I keep my broken,
Scattered heart hidden.
To let you be respectable.
More fool me.
I loved you so dearly--
I--
I--
I hope you die!

- RM
03/25/2020

Calm Down, Dear Heart

I am here to take your fright
Of being abandoned
Of being betrayed
Of being the object
Of squandered promise of
Fidelity.


Calm down, little bird.
Let me charm your
Frozen heart, warm it
Up with cuddle and
Delights. Let me
Care for you.
Be soft in my arms
For I’ll protect you
Tonight.


Are you not tired?
Of taking yourself
So stiffly. So afraid;
That if you bend, you
Will lose your sanity.
Stay by my side
Walk by me.
Let me take your burdens
Completely.


Do you feel safe
Now? Here besides me.
I care not if your hair
Flies madly with the wind;
Or that your brows wrinkle
As you think about things
So seriously.
Take my hand, sweet.
Take my heart.
Here, in my hand;
I pledge my beating heart.
It’s yours, dear heart.


Let me soothe your fears
And climb your walls
Of brittle heartbreaks.
I’ll take care of you, my sweet.
Keep your cold feet warm
Even in Winter’s feast.
Let my arms protect you
From your memories.
My shoulders are big
To carry you, my dear.

- RM
03/25/20

Somebody Told Me Today

Somebody told me today

That I must be in a good place.

That I’ve never experienced heartache;

That I don’t cry over lost,

What ifs—

That my heart doesn’t clench

At the thought of

Suspected betrayal

From someone I loved

So much—

So much—

So much—.

I laughed

Inwardly, of course.

I don’t want to ruin

The façade,

The mask,

The endless, brittle

Smile

That you told me

I always carry.

I’m such a lady,

You said.

With a scoff,

And anger that I didn’t

Comprehend, until

You acted as if

I am a villain

That last night

When you broke me—

And my heart.

My little heart, you said.

So little,

That it could not

Contain you.

Or your love.

How arrogant!

Are you my world?

You surely wanted to be.

You called me selfish,

Ignorant

Unloving

Uncaring.

You said I’m unable

To love—

Because I couldn’t love you

Enough.

Enough!

Enough!

When somebody told me today

That I must be in

A good place,

I smiled.

The smile you hated.

I smiled

Because I hated you.

Because I loved you.

And you hated me,

Threw me

Away!

I smiled because

I—

I moved on.

I didn’t tell them

That they were wrong.

It was okay—

I’m okay—

Because now,

I hate you no more.

I don’t even know you

No more.

3/10/2020 RM