At the Corner of Heartache and Regret

I’ve waited so long for this moment
Is this how we can end?
Facing each other, miles apart
Unable to say the words
It took us thousands of years to find?


Is this really our last moment,
Our eyes burning with emptied resentment.
Our hearts filled with dull pain
Remembering everything and yet
Remembering nothing.


If I hold my hand out to you
Under the falling blooms, the soul of you
Under the bright moonlight, my promise
Will you come back to me
And hold me still? Stop this surrender?


Is this really our last goodbye?
A prolonged sentence of that long ago night.
Of me waiting for your revenge,
Willing to die for a promise I made
In exchange for your life?


Will we find each other again
Behind the veil, the endless, endless regrets?
If I open my mouth and declare
All the unuttered words choked in pain
Will you remember me fondly—finally?


If I open my arms wide, will you
Come back to me and fill this
Endless void you made when you went away?
Or should I surrender now and allow
The passage of time to erase you from my memories?



-RM
04.12.2021

Dear My Universe

My favorite song, I dedicate to you.

In reflection of your honest

Heart and heartfelt actions.

Indeed, as I walk the streets

Filled with your words and memories

I can only remember this:

I will be the greatest fan of your life.

In the quiet dawn, my tears fall for you.

As I remember our promises,

Our dreams which divided our paths.

The street of broken hearts,

That we walked that long-ago night.

A long moment of falling snow,

As you asked me to stay. Stay.

In the darkness of the pre-dawn, I miss you.

I replay your words in my mind

And wished I answered yes. Yes.

And let you get closer to me,

Holding me tight during the winter nights.

I regret this now, this wretched habit

Of pushing away, even when I wanted to stay.

Lost in the memories, your eyes become my map.

If I come back, will you lead me again

Back into your embrace?

I am tired of  wandering through the galaxy

And never finding you where I need you.

Do you feel the same pain?

As if it was yesterday that we walked away.

Did you find your answers, away from me?

Were the stars brighter on your end?

These roads we took, did you discover

The missing dot on your road to greatness?

I cry, because all I did was miss you.

My world change, but not for the better.

I want you back, shake my world once again.

Stay. I ask you to stay. 

Let's not take each other for granted again.

In a galaxy filled with wild shooting stars,

Let us stay together and be brighter still.

Turn this broken road into our own universe.

Let us be the warmth in each other's winter rain.

Hold each other tighter, even in the dark.

I Only See You

On the eve of your day,

I look through all my saved memories

And find your face in the midst of many

So many people that I know,

And those I don’t.

And yet I only see you.

It’s your eyes, your lips,

Your nose, and the voice

That I can hear even 

When you’re not speaking.

Is this the web you weaved

On my mind, on my heart?

I closed my eyes and 

Tried to dispel your magic.

I looked to the right

Found little sparkles on the left

And troubled shiny things

On the right, amongst many.

And yet I only see you.

Color your hair light,

Color your hair brighter,

Color your hair your color,

In the end, it is you.

And what’s beneath that I see.

That one thing you promised to me.

But where are you now?

Away, far away, going even farther.

The promise you made last December

Was as fleeting as your smiles

Today, yesterday, a week before.

Can you still see yourself in the mirror?

Are you lost now, my tree?

Are your roots hanging by the thread

Along the suddenly surging river

Overflowing stream, once dreaming

Now a frightening reality.

Still, I can only see you.

As you were when we held hands,

When we whispered silly jokes.

And tried to offend each other,
So we can make up afterwards.

And yet you seem lost now, my star.

Find your way back through my eyes.

#RM

03/28/2021