You Shine Brightly

You shine brightly dear

Like the southern constellations

Dotting and flowing through New Zealand's sky.

As I walk through these impossible valleys,

This is what circles in my mind:

You still shine brightly, dear.

This light gives strength to my flagging thighs,

Tired, beaten, and almost falling to the ground.

You light up my sky,

Even as the darkness closes around me,

Like hands on my neck on a starry night.

Like a million years inside a quicksand.

If I walk faster, if I run harder

Would I be free of this spell which 

Bounds me to the nightmare I came from?

In bouts of hunger, I can feel your breath

On my skin, on my parched lips.

I close my eyes, and yet you're shining brightly still.

I cried, "Someone help me, please."

But no one was there to catch me--

Or even to pull me from the hole.

I can see your light, but now it seems so far.

Did you abandon me, too?

Have you gone deaf to my cries and tears?

A lone wolf calls from afar,

But it is still nearer than your dimming light.

Is it better that I stay here? 

Stay and let the luring folds of despair

Hold me, trap me, choke me?

I close my eyes--at least here, you shine brightly still.

R.M. 2021.06.29

Changing Seasons

Did you think of me as the leaves fell

And sunlight dimmed as it fell through the clouds

Not bothering to brighten the darkened street

Where you turned around and left

Without goodbye, just a sad, unfaithful smile.

Did you think of me as snowflakes fell

And grew into monsters of white walls

Covering the bridge where you said you loved me

Above all else, and gave me an inherited ring

Telling me it’s a token of forever love, an answered dream.

Did you think of me as the frost turned to dew

And dissipated with the weak sunlight through the roof

As the garden turned green once again

And the seeds you planted finally broke free and grew.

Like the love you confessed with a summer song.

Did you even think of me as the sun rose

In that humid day where tears fell like sweat

As a miracle happened between two people.

A gift, you said, and warmly gave me a hot embrace

You laughed then, and we danced like mischief-makers.

Did you think of me during those last few steps

And the summers of long past, that I now regret.

Did you walk away with a heavy heart and thought

Of the promises you’ve made but never kept.

Or do you still call my name during the nights your shoulder is in pain?

R.M. 2021.06.27

Fall Slowly

We fall

We fall

We fall

We fall slowly.

From a sad love full of pains

Of memories of betrayals

And neverending anxiousness

And of tears and long goodbyes,

We met quite suddenly.

Almost like a surprise.

And we fell

We fell

We fell

We are still falling.

With laughters and tears,

Unable to put a stop on things

We caved in and surrendered

Even knowing that our hearts

Are still tender as new reeds

In early spring, snow-covered still.

And so we fall

We fall

We fall

We are falling slowly.

One step at a time,

One inch, one foot, a meter,

Hellos and goodbyes.

We have never been good at this,

But still we risked our necks

And gave in to the desires.

Fall slower

Fall slower

Fall slower

We keep moving faster.

My heart is not yours yet,

And yet we move like one set.

Our hands fit together like gloves,

Your casual embrace melts my soul.

It makes me remember and forget,

Like changing seasons in hurricane.

Hold and fall deeper

Fall deeper

Fall deeper

And deeper still.

Spring, summer, fall, and winter.

You waited quite a while.

Loudly but quietly.

Elaborately smiling while you suffer

Just to find the me I lost last spring.

For a promise I now vow to keep.

R.M. 2021.06.27